Men and women communicate differently. Most women have negative thought patterns that affect the way they communicate, using 'women speak' e.g. being afraid of being assertive, not taking credit as much, staying away from saying "I" and instead use "we", posing the statement as a question, using words that make you sound unsure (should, could etc), endless apologizing etc.
In this episode, Marilyn Gordon, president and founder of Mediatude, a coaching business that reinforces and enhances their clients’ communication skills, explains how listening can improve people’s way of communicating with each other. As a coach, entrepreneur and educator, Marilyn believes listening is one of the most fundamental practices for people to connect.
We talk at a rate of 25-200 words per minute, but we think 1000-3000 words per minute. We get distracted by our own thoughts and it's hard to stay in the moment and listen to the other person, that is why it is crucial to learn how to better listen to others.
She describes two forms of listening – empathic and critical. Critical listening is ideal for the workplace as it is the ability to formulate a response. Empathic listening applies more to the personal life as it provides reassurance that the person you are listening to is heard and understood.
With communication being an important aspect to establish and strengthen relationships, basic skills that complete the communication process such as listening can be learned and improved. Not only will this be useful for one’s career, but also for everyday life.
- Develop the crave to listen
- Become someone who wants to be a good listener.
- Stay in the moment when listening to others.
- Don’t fall in love with the sound of your voice. Some people love to talk.
- Don’t begin formulating your response while you’re still listening.
- Don’t let your mind drift.
- Minimize distractions.
- Don’t minimize the speaker.
- Know when to be silent.
- Listening is an art, so you have to practice it.
- 0:00 Introduction
- 1:11 Introducing Marilyn Gordon
- 4:53 Listening advantage
- 10:06 The differences between the listening styles of men and women
- 15:12 Examples of critical listening
- 22:33 Words vs. Images
- 26:44 Listening Tips
- 30:28 What is women-speak?
- 42:41 What is male genderizing?
- 44:32 How can women help each other out?
- 53:10 Reach out to Marilyn Gordon Quotes
- “We hear each other, but we don't take the time to listen to each other. This is the basis of the problems, professionally, and personally.” (06:04 – 06-22)
- “Empathic listening involves putting yourself in the place of the person. You're listening to seeing an idea from another person's perspective and close as possible to understanding their feelings.” (11:25 – 11:47)
- “It's extremely important that other women help women at work.” (44:28 – 44:51)
Connect with Marilyn Gordon:
- Mediatude's Official Website: https://mediatude.net/
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/Mediatude
- Women’s Speak Twitter: https://twitter.com/WomenSpeakMG
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marilyn-l-gordon-6182514/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mediatude/